There are times when a two by four is not big enough for me to move and God needs more like a six by six. I love telling stories of things God has done in my life (when they are DONE) but NOT when I am in the process. Get the picture?
I am In. The. Process. and God wants me to share! One of the most difficult posts I have written to date. I don't care to be vulnerable because I don't like to be hurt but sometimes you just don't get a choice in the matter.
Growing up in a city just a little east of Los Angeles in the 70's we would run out nearly every morning to catch a ride on the Helms truck. Do you know what that is? Imagine the ice cream truck only filled with jelly donuts (and every other kind too), bread, button candy, and loads of other baked goods, fresh, warm, and straight from the bakery. Mr. Helms man would let some of us neighborhood kids jump on the truck and ride down to the end of the cul-de-sac and back then he would open one of those beautiful draws and let us pick out a donut. YUM...I can taste them now.
We also had the ice cream truck (50/50 bars) and the dairy truck (cottage cheese w/pineapple). They would come down Wellsford and offer so many kinds of goodies, treats that filled our bodies with goodness (well, sugar). It became a habit that we all loved.
Fast forward, ahem, 40+ years and I still have the same bad habits I had as a kid. I LOVE ice cream, donuts and sugar. I am a sugarholic and it is making me sick, besides the fact that I have gained an awful amount of weight and am miserable. Many of you who read this blog already know that my A1C is too high and I was supposed to eliminate sugar from my diet, I did well for a couple weeks but .......
I believe, because I don't drink caffeine of any kind, that I use the sugar as a 'pick-me-up' of sorts. I realize I have to stop but it is quite difficult. Sugar is in everything and when I get stressed I crave it!!!
But the worst part is even more difficult to admit. I am also addicted to Excedrin. You know, the caffeine, 65mg per pill, it has become a habit that I am having more trouble breaking than the habit of sugar. I have given employees at work my bottles to hide and then I just go buy more. So awful!
I do realize how many people read this blog. Though I may not have hundreds of comments on a daily basis I do have hundreds of readers. I might not be super smart but I do use stat~counter. It is possible that I just may have lost readers, shocked friends and made enemies, but I have to be real.
Over the past couple of weeks God has placed a scripture in front of me daily.
"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." 1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Every morning I wake up and tell myself that this is the day I am going to make good choices. And within hours I have failed again. I have eaten a donut, taken Excedrin, bought a Sprite or put some other toxic sugar laden item into my mouth.
My prayer is that by opening up my heart and sharing this with people who love me, I can find accountability. I am full aware that it is MY responsibility as to what goes into my body and that ultimately it is my choice, I just think that if I put it in writing, it somehow makes it more real.
In the morning I will wake again to a new day, a new opportunity, a new decision, a new hope. I am believing for a new outcome! I will remember that my body is the Temple of God's precious Holy Spirit and it IS important how I take care of this Temple.
I. Will. Not. Fear. Success! (That is a whole other blog post)
God is doing a work and I need to start using the tools He has given to me:)
Considering New Choices With Great Joy,
Cindy
You didn't scare me off, LOL!!! I will be praying for you! Let me know how I can help you, MY FRIEND!!! (I am pretty good a researching yummy low calerie foods...let me try sugar free too) ;)
ReplyDeleteYou should try coffee~it really is yummy, LOL!!!
You didn't scare me off either! I will also pray. God has and is walking with me through some of my own areas of addiction- recovery is turning my will and my life over to Him every minute of every day. You are loved unconditionally, my friend.
ReplyDeleteI've worked with hard core alcoholics and drug addicts for 15 years, so no...no scaring me off!
ReplyDeleteDonuts, sugar, excedrine are not wrong in and of themselves, but done in excess is when it becomes a problem. Especially overdoing excedrine as it acts as a blood thinner and too many can actually cause internal bleeding.
Thank you for sharing this with us. Blogging has always been good therapy for me as well.
Sending warm thoughts, prayers and hugs,
Blessings,
Debra
You sure didn't scare me off either, in fact, you became more real as a person, as a sister in Christ! Please know from this day forward, you will be at the top of my prayer list, asking for strength in making your body a temple of Christ. We all battle addictions of some sort and it's not easy, it's something we cannot battle alone but can be done through Christ who strengthens us!
ReplyDeleteI loved the Helms man and remember those days well. We grew up in a whole different world than kids these days didn't we. Things were so simple then!
No getting rid of me either...I am praying for you and your battles. It's not easy but with God ALL THINGS are POSSIBLE!
ReplyDeleteLove you! Connie
There is power and healing when we open ourselves up like this. God's bright light comes in even brighter. I don't believe this post will scare anyone. Actually I think you will find the opposite effect. More support. More prayer.
ReplyDeleteI too understand sugar. I have good and bad days with it. Treating God's temple right is hard work. Praise God He is not finished with us yet.
May God be your sweet satisfaction today and every day.
Hugs from Colorado.
Totally relating here. My second book, "I'm a fixer-upper" is straight for the verse God is convicting you with. He convicts me too! BTW - I love my ice cream too. Urgh!
ReplyDeleteJust visiting your blog, and I love it! This post was especially good, as it's a battle so many share with you, including me. It's a constant and hour by hour yielding, and God has so many things ahead for us as we learn to do that. Everyone struggles with 'stuff'... food is just one area. But in all of it, He means for us to do it His way.
ReplyDeleteThis was so excellent. I'll be back!
Blessings!
I was once told that the "power of sin is in it's secrecy." I view that not as just with sin but with bondage of any kind. May it be food, beer, excederin, whatever. So now it's out and you can surround yourself with accountability partners. People who love you and want your quality of life to improve and will love you through the process and help guide your path and keep you on track. If you don't already have a great accountability partner or two, that would be my next step.
ReplyDelete