Happy Birthday

Well, today would have been hubby's 62nd birthday

Yep ~ He spoiled his momma's New Year's Eve Party

But, what a blessing to receive!!

Anyway

He is spending his 2nd birthday in heaven this year

And in honor of him

Son #2 and I

Have spent the day

Washing walls, patching holes, cleaning closets

And prepping to paint tomorrow

Hubby would be proud of what a super team we are making

We have laughed, played, shopped and cleaned our hearts out

Soon I will be able to share some

Before and After photos

But for today

Here's a photo of my beloved and I

Taken at Tonto Bridge 2 years ago

Oh, and that is Sam :)

Happy New Year Everybody

And Happy Birthday in Heaven Honey!!

Away

The mess, stuff and things of

Christmas

Have been taken down and packed away

Now behind closed cabinet doors

Not to see the light of day for another 11 months

I pushed myself this year

Far beyond what I 'felt' ready for

To decorate and enjoy this most precious of Holidays

Not for myself but for the memory of him

And though the stuff has been put away

The "Christ" of Christmas

Will be kept well within my grasp

Just as this memory of my beloved

Was close throughout the Christmas season

The year now behind me

I don't know where it went

But to honor what we had

I lift up my eyes and look to heaven

My steps may be slow and shaky at first

I may seem lost or confused

Yet I am taking the Lead

From a God I cannot see

And trusting He knows

What is best for me

I'm taking off the Black

Putting away the veil

Where I go from this point forward

God will soon Reveal

Considering Life,

Cindy



But I'm Thankful

Where did the year go?

It seems like only yesterday

I was looking into your eyes

But is has been a year

I didn't know when we talked that day

That it would be our last conversation

I didn't know when I got your heater

That your body was already shutting down

I didn't know when I prepared your lunch

That it would be your last meal

I didn't know when I brought out your oxygen

That your breathing would become so much easier

I didn't know as I prepared your blankets and pillows on the couch

That it would soon become your death bed

I didn't know when I looked into your eyes,

kissed you good night and told you I Love You

That it would be that last time

I didn't know I would never hear your voice again

Or see your eyes, or watch you smile

I didn't know the plan God had for our Christmas Eve morning

I didn't know that I would wake to find your in the arms of Jesus

I didn't know the year that was ahead 

I didn't know how much I would miss you

I didn't know how deeply the pain would affect my life

I didn't know anything then that I know now

But I'm thankful

Thankful that:

You were comfortable 

You were at peace

Your tummy was full

Your bed was prepared

Jesus was waiting and calling your name

I looked into the deep of your eyes

I kissed you good night

I told you I loved you as you did me

For today I can sit and remember you with no regrets

Loving the Great of our 31 years together

And knowing that you are my future

You wait with Jesus until the day He calls my name

We will be reunited again

So many words fill my heart

I Will Always Love You

Are the ones that stick

I am thankful as well

For the friends I have met along this path

The ones who have walked with me for part of it

And those headed in the opposite direction

Each one has played a part in my story

Each one a portion of my healing

And now I turn the page

To a new chapter

I already know the ending

But am looking forward to the details

That lie within the rest of the journey

You are resting in His arms my love

And I will continue on 

Until that great day when we All will Rejoice in Him

December Daily 22

Today

I was blessed to photograph

My K~Bug

While she made

Apple Cinnamon Muffins

In my kitchen

Why YES

They were delicious!!!

AND...

If I were to share my heart tonight

Besides being grateful for a multitude of things

It would tell you how much it misses my Mark

Just 2 days before the 1st anniversary

Of his HomeGoing

December Daily 21

It's been suggested that sharing my heart

Is not a good thing to do on my blog

So instead I will share my

Christmasy Jewelry for today

 This little bracelet is fun

And a bit jingly

I'm not sure if you can see the bracelet above

It is an Italian Charm bracelet that a friend gave me

On the day my son donated a kidney to my husband

All of the charms are Hubby related

Mostly from events we attended together

Since I am a miniature nativity collector

He bought me the tiny nativity charm

you can just barely make out in the center

I where it every day

Having my son home again is a joy

But today was a Super Joy

He cooked up some

Homemade turkey vegetable soup

Which was piping hot and ready to eat

When I walked in the door after work at 7:20 PM

YummY!!!!

Love you all :)

Oh, and BTW

Since this IS my blog

My heart is not doing so great tonight!!

December Daily 20

My Christmasy Jewelry

For today was this Angel

Not so much to remind me of Christmas

But to remind me of where my Peace comes from

 After nearly losing my boy

You can see that even the doggies

Are Happy to have him home

No amount of 'Christmasy' stuff

Could ever fill this momma's heart

With the Joy and Gratefulness

She feels today :)



December Daily 18 & 19

Continuning with my efforts

To get into and stay in the Christmas Spirit

I dawned this cute little pair

Of Rudoloph Earrings

But actually today my spirit was struggling a bit

When I was not able to bring my son home

From his now 5th day at the hospital

So I summond the Lord

And was reminded about what the Christmas Spirit is anyway

Not Rudolph, snowmen or Christmas trees

Not presents, wrappings or shopping

But about the Peace within my heart

Knowing that even in these difficult days

God is with us

Helping us to make choices that will bless

And protect my son's life

God is evident in the progress he has made

A Baby King

A Perfect Life

A Pure Gift

Battered

Bruised

Bloodied

Broken

Buried

A Risen Savior

A Life Eternal

A Peace Unmatched

Thank you Lord

Where would we be

In the Dark Times

Without the Truth of the Christmas Story

December Daily 17

Eight years ago today

I was waiting at a hospital while my oldest son

Donated a kidney to my husband

He added 7 years and 7 days to his dad's life

Now he visits me

With his beautiful wife

2 preciously delightful daughters

While they wait for daughter #3 to be born

Andrew You are a Gift

You are the most giving young man I have ever met

I love you so much

Today I visited a hospital

To spend an hour with son #2

His grieving process got the best of him

He's needed some rest time

Matthew you are Loved

And have blessed my heart for 26 years

I am so Proud of You

When I arrived home after my hospital visit

There was a beautful gift awaiting my arrival



What a sweet and special surprise

From someone who has loved me through

My most Ugly moments this past year

Thank you for the Christmasy Goodies

They will be used and displayed with JOY

Thank YOU for your Prayers

I have Felt Them All



December Daily 15 & 16

No photos to share today

December Daily 15 ended with an emergency department visit

A trip to another hospital which turned into

December Daily 16

I am exhausted

But heading out very soon

For a visit with Son # 2

The 10 most difficult days of this year are ahead of us

The circumstances which surround the past 24 hours

Are in fact rocking this momma to her core

I didn't really believe that things could get worse

All I am able to do is bow my body in prayer

Seek guidance from my Creator

And Believe that HE is Stronger than anything we face

Prayerfully

I will be back tomorrow with

December Daily 17

And some sort of Happy Photos

Blessings to you all

Cindy

December Daily 14

Today was a beautiful day

Filled with moments of sunshine and of course more clouds

But no rain so I did get out in the garage

And begin to tackle THIS:

 Over the past couple of years

So many items have just been thrown there on Mark's work bench

It drives me nuts so I have been wanting to get out there and clean

I was able to do some today

But have such a LONG way to go

Son #1 stopped by this afternoon and had a panic attack

Thinking that I was going to toss all of his dad's 'treasures'

Lots Will be tossed

But My Goodness...there is enough for Many Garages:)

Found this cute guy out there

Need to find a cute place for him to rest up

Before Christmas Eve

 I have attempted to keep my posts free of emotions or feelings

The past week due to some 'comments'

Yet I must share that

Today I am reminded that there are only

10 days left until the 1 year anniversary of my hubby's passing

I am doing well, keeping busy and focused

But honestly friends

I cannot believe it has been a year since I last kissed him goodnight,

Held his hand or told him I Love You

My heart is sad tonight

But tomorow is a new day

And tonight I have a date

With:

YUP

Ms Clairol

Anyway,

Hope you are enjoying your Christmas Season

Be back tomorrow with Daily 15

Where does the time go???

December Daily 13

Living in Sunny Arizona

Allows for plans to be made

And seldom changed due to weather

Yet, most all of the plans I had

For my very fist week long

StayCation have been washed out

Due to all of the rain we have received over the past few days

It is much needed in AZ

And I am enjoying the benefits of it

Just look at my beautiful green lawn

But I sure have not accomplished 1 thing on my 'list'

Instead of painting and garage updating

I have been doing a little house cleaning

And a small amount of Christmas decorating

Today I put up a small Santa Boot Christmas Tree

In my bathroom

Which adds a bit of joy

For those early mornings



And since the rain has kept me inside

I am actually doing a little cooking

Tonights menu includes this

Hopefully Yummy Roast

With Veggies and Fresh Garlic Bread



See you tomorrow

With 'hopefully' some Good news

Regarding Projects Completed



December Daily 12

Today has been a

Cold, Wet, Dark and Dreary Day

It was much too cold and wet to

Begin the main project I am

Hoping to accomplish this week

So, I spent most of the day

Cleaning and recovering areas of my office

Which have been hidden by months

Of mail and what not

Matthew put up his

Fiber Optic Tree

Although it is only 5 o'clock

I have my nice and warm

Christmasy Jammies on

Getting ready to have a little soup for dinner

And then a quiet night of

Monday Night Football

And while watching the game

Since I love to Multi-task

I will be going through a years worth of photos

To decide which ones I want to send to Mark's Momma

Have a great night

See you tomorrow :)

December Daily 11

The days are flying by

My list is getting longer

But at least I accomplished 1 thing today

I felt unable this year

To pull out our family Christmas Tree

So I purchased this little 4' one instead

It's WAY smaller than I thought it would be

Yet bring just enough joy and light

To make me smile

 And with a new puppy around The Place

I think this is the Best choice

For a tree this year

 

As for my Christmasy Jewelry today

I chose this bracelet

It's not easy to see

But it is little angels

Blowing trumpets

It may not be actual Christmas Jewelry

But it is Christmasy to me all the same

Well, tomorrow is my real first vacation day

And my list is Full

So, I'm off for the night

Need to get my beauty rest you know *wink~wink*

December Daily 10

WoW

This first day of my 'staycation' has just flown by

I'm most excited about the fact that

I spent most of it with my sister

We began our day with some

Early morning Garage Sales

Where I found this Christmasy Jewelry for .50

After we went to the ol' WallyWorld

Where my sister bought me this Christmasy Pin

I think I'll be wearing this one to church in the morning

We took a short break and each went home

Then we met at my house and ventured out

For a lunch and a few stops at

Kohl's, JoAnn's, and Party City

Now

I am home relaxing with one of my pair

Of Christmasy Socks

As you can probably tell by now

Even in the worst of seasons

I LOVE EVERYTHING

CHRISTMAS!!!!!

Catch Ya Tomorrow :)

December Daily 9

 Look what my Secret Santa brought me this week

Chocolate

I'm afraid to tell 'her' I need to stay away from that stuff

I've lost 15 pounds and I don't want to put it back on

I will do my best to limit myself to 1 piece per day

'Have Mercy'

 Look only at the cute snowy Christmas Tree earring

And not that chipmunk cheek :)

This is another pair that my friend gave me on Monday

YIPEE

I am officially on StayCation

I have not taken a week off work in several years

(minus when Mark passed last year)

This will be my first real

Week Long StayCation

I have SOSOSO many projects planned

And can't wait to share before and after photos with you

After the first of the Year

So, now I will go put on some comfy close

And spend time with my Grandgirls

While their mommy and daddy

Go out and enjoy an Anniversary dinner

See you tomorrow!!!

December Daily 8

Now who could not smile

When looking at that precious face

I'll be back tomorrow

December Daily 7

Happy Mail arrived today

 I finally have a cover for my iphone4

 And of course, what else

It is Red and Black

My favorite combo

 I suppose after some disappointments in the past few days

I really had to 'dig' to find some 'JOYS' today

Above is a photo of my Empty Laundry Basket

Now THAT can make a girlie smile ;)

My Christmasy Jewel of the Day

This festive, quirky little smiling

Christmas Tree

Yes, again I've had it for many years

But it was fun to wear it today

Where did God show you some Joy today,

Cindy

December Daily 6

With each passing day

Comes a more intense and deeper pain

The empty black chair

Beckons my comfort

Yet there is no one to comfort my brokenness

Oh, to be held and loved

My soul can only recall

The moments from days gone by

Thankful for each one of them

Longing for their presence

Only to be awakened to their silence

Attempting to find Joy in each new day

I dawned one of my prize pieces of Christmas jewelry

I have collected miniatrue nativities

For Many years

Thankful for the times he touched it

While it embraced my wrist

Son #2 is not feeling well tonight

So Chicken soup and bread to the rescue

My heart is not feeling so well either

So I will slip into my comfy Christmas Jammies

And cuddle up alone

In my empty black chair

Longing for his presence

Thankful for his memory

Where are you finding your Joy today,

Cindy

December Daily 5

Today was Tough

A new and dear friend

Who has been affected by widowhood

At a young age

Wanted to do something special

To honor her husband this Christmas Season

She put out a request for special ornaments

So she could create a 'Chris' Tree

Her husband had a few of the same interests

As my husband did

I thought, prayed and contemplated

What type of ornament I would like to send her

As a remembrance of both of our guys

Today, I mailed the ornament of choice:

 Above, in the Christmas Ornament Frame

Is the Very Last Fly my husband tied before his passing

He would spend hours tying flies when he was younger

But the last several years he almost never touched the supplies

One evening he decided to give it a try

And above is the final outcome 

His Final One

May it Hang Proudly on Leah's 'Chris' Tree

 When I arrived at work today

I found the above card and package on my desk

One of my co-workers has been a young widow for many years

She understands the fear of facing this Christmas season

The card (adorable)

Written inside ~ Well let's just say ~ tears

Her heart truly knows my heart

She must have read my blog

Because she knew my goal of wearing

A piece of Christmas jewelry every day

Inside ~ 3 Darling pair of Christmas earrings

Here is my Christmas jewelry for today

One of the pair I received from my co-worker

They were ringing all day

And helped keep me grounded

With my heart focused on what Christmas is all about

And now,

I must go wrapped my Secret Santa gifts

To take to work tomorrow

I Pray you are finding Joy even in the tough things,

Cindy

December Daily 4

I wish I could say that

I am in a Super Perky Christmasy Mood

But

""Not So Much""

For some reason known only to God

I'm feeling rather down and out today

However

I did get to spend some time

With my granddaughters

And that always makes me happy

 K~Bel and K~Bug

 K~Bug just before daddy took off the training wheels

K~Bel in her Santa shirt

Sorry, No Christmas Jewelry today

We did go back out to the stables today

Only to have Matthew get bucked off again

He is resting in the next room

He Loves to Ride

But this Momma is getting rather Horse Shy

Considering Joy Worth Looking For

Cindy