Hello My Dear Blog Friends
It is hard to believe I have not opened my laptop
Since the 9th of January
The past two weeks have been
Scary and Busy
1. Thank You:
I would humbly like to thank each person who has contacted me via email, text, phone, FB or through my blog to offer prayers and good thoughts. Your encouragement is what is getting me through this terribly difficult season with my youngest son.
I honestly don't know how people get through a crisis without prayer, family and friends. I know I covet your prayers and especially your encouraging words. So, thank you again and always!!
2. Clarification:
It is a difficult task to relay my heart through the written word. On my last post (at Loving Madi), I shared that I would attempt to use female pronouns when referring to my son, as that is what he would like. Also, I mentioned that I would try to call him Madi.
I realize that many may have misunderstood my intention and my stance on the subject of having a son who would like to be a girl. Please let me clarify, if that is really possible.
My son, who is 30 years old, has recently told me and the world that he is transgender and wants to go through the process of becoming female. I have been a mess since that day, September 21, 2015. I have prayed and cried out to the Lord to help him see that his choice is sinful and, in my opinion, will cause him a life of pain. Yet, so far, he has not changed his mind, in fact, he is stronger and more determined than ever.
In my attempt to help him through his pain, I decided to show love (God's love and Grace) to him by using female pronouns and his new chosen name of Madi. This does NOT mean that I have changed my opinion about him being transgender. I do not agree with it, I do not understand it, I do not condone it. My heart is still broken about it, I am grieving, and praying, no pleading with God to help him, I cannot change my opinion about his choice. BUT, I can choose GRACE! I can show love and respect for his choice.
He will always know that I am here for him, that I will always be truthful with him about my thoughts, he will always see God's love for him and God's grace for him through me. I will never turn my back on the truth's I believe are written in God's Word, yet I have to find ways to have peace in my home and keep my son from ending his life because of the pain he is in.
It is possible that you may not agree with me or the way I have chosen to face this trial, but at least you know where I stand and why I am making the choices I am making.
None of us has any idea of how we will handle a situation until that situation is staring us in the face. When the rubber meets the road, so to speak.
I Never thought I'd have to face this, but it is here, in my home and I have to walk it out the best way I know how. I may be wrong, but I'm praying through it and will listen intently for my Father's voice in the midst.
3. Prayer Request:
Madi has been in the hospital for 9 days, 'She' was suicidal and homicidal. Threats were made and she needed to be in a place where she is safe.
a. Prayers are requested for a proper diagnosis (right now schizophrenia is a possibility)
b. Correct medication and dosing for treatment
c. Wisdom for her medical team
d. Wisdom for housing and living arrangements
e. Peace for me and for her
f. God's protection and Grace
Thank you Again!
Now, I am hoping in the days ahead, I will feel more awake and at peace so I can start blogging happily again!
May you have a Blessed Week Ahead
Cindy - I cannot imagine what you are going thru but I do know that being the strong Christian that you are, you will do what is right for you, You may not agree with her decisions but that doesn't mean you don't still love that person as your own child and a child of God. Will be praying for you and her. Praying the Lord will give you the peace and grace you ask for.
ReplyDeleteJudy
Sending you HUGS and PRAYERS!
ReplyDeletewarmly,
deb
I feel like a bad friend for not knowing. Your love for Madi is strong. She may need this intervention. Maybe this will clear some confusion. Also having help with what to do next and someone for you to have support. Make sure and rest while he is safe . Shoot, sorry it is hard referring to him as her.
ReplyDeleteMy son was hospitalized when he was 10. They released him on the third day. I think because of his age they were reluctant to diagnose him. But those three days were freedom for me.
Prayers coming your way. I hope Only the best for both of you.
Cindy, dear friend prayers continue and yes Grace is given. We must stand by each other as friends and bear each others burdens. Jesus didn't condemn and I don't either. He is your son always. I didn't realize you had another blog or I had forgotten. Please know that you have a safe place with me should you need it more. Take care of yourself.
ReplyDeleteI'm very sorry, Cindy. Prayers for all involved. xoxo Su
ReplyDeleteI pray for you and your dear loved Madi. I see things differently and know God is the only one who can judge. Just as Jesus was there for the people who needed him, He will be there for you.
ReplyDeleteJesus says be loving even to our enemies and that is how I live.
Dearest Cindy ~ I am sorry you and Madi are having to go through this, but you are NOT alone, God is with you every step of the way.
ReplyDeleteYou are in my thoughts and prayers ~ FlowerLady
I am so sorry you are going through this. My prayers will be with you and your sweet Madi. I think what you are doing is the right thing. I would do the exact same thing if it were my child. You are a good Mother. I hope everything works out for you both***
ReplyDeleteGood Morning my friend. Hugs and prayers for strength as you go on this journey with Madi. May peace and grace help you through.
ReplyDeleteKris
The Lord will never leave you nor forsake you. He is our stronghold in times of trouble. He delights when we run into his everlasting arms where he will carry us when we are tired and weak. His ways are right and good and faithful.
ReplyDeleteMary Alice
I truly can understand how you feel and would feel the same. Don't' let anyones opinion cause you any pain, since everyone has one. I hope Madi get past this journey safe and sound, and you will find a sense in comfort of believing what you believe which in no way causes you to love her less. Blessing to both of you!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry, Cindy. I cannot even imagine how difficult this burden has been for Madi. Gender dysphoria isn't a choice, but a true burden filled with confusion and unhappiness. I believe God is a God of love, and would never look on Madi as being a sinner. I also believe God will give you the strength to lovingly help Madi make some tough decisions......tough decisions for both of you. Both of you have been constantly in my prayers, and I will continue to pray for answers that you can both accept.
ReplyDeleteWarm hugs,
Carol
Cindy, I feel God lead me to you and this particular post. My son, who is now 48 came out to us as gay many eyars ago. We loved and accepted him from day one. I, personally, knew from the time he was a little boy. I always wondered where we would be and how he would tell us. Madi is going through a lot of torment right now, I know. All we can do is pray that WE will have grace and show them the dignity they deserve. I KNOW God made my son gay, that it was not a choice. He fought it for many years with drinking and drugs. He is a wonderful, loving , kind, generous, and deeply religious man now that I am HUGELY proud of. I pray one day you get to that point. XOXO
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that Madi is home. I hope and pray that you can get the meds straightened out. I'm praying strength and comfort for you right now.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you, Cindy. You are brave and courageous and wise and loving. You have my respect and admiration for holding to your beliefs, not compromising them, and at the same time showing love and grace to Madi. I believe you are in a good place spiritually and emotionally, and you don't need to apologize to anyone. Warmest thoughts and heartfelt prayers, Nancy
ReplyDelete