8

It's 8:00 am

December 24, 2010

I awake to find it

A shell

A shell of a life once lived

Now gone

His spirit soars forevermore

With Christ

Alone, I sit

Tears

Somehow un~phased by the 

Flurry of people in and out

My life, Ours Lives

Over

Nothing will ever be the same

Empty

And now

December 24, 2018

8 Years 

The kids have grown 

Moved on to Bigger

And Better Lives

You know the story

Alone  Empty

I know tomorrow is Christmas

When we remember 

His Love

His Birth

His Purpose

However today

I feel forgotten

Alone  Forsaken

BUT

I Promise

I'm remembering the Good

The Blessings

The JOY

2018 Ornament Exchange

My dear sweet friend Stephanie

The Enchanting Rose

Hosted her first Ornament Exchange

When I heard she was doing this

I knew I wanted to participate

Everything Stephanie does

Is done with Excellence

And this was no different

I was excited to meet my new friend

Anne Marie of

Musings of a Vintage Junkie

I scoped out her blog and tried 

To choose items that were vintage in nature

And fit with my holiday color scheme

I think I succeeded but I forgot to take photos

Before I wrapped everything

So, here are a few I took

Once my package was wrapped and ready to sent

It was such a pleasure to receive my little package

I seldom receive 'happy mail' so this was fun

My new friend Abby is a talented crafter

I could tell when I opened the envelope

She blogs at: Little Birdie Blessings

She cut this beautiful bird out of chimney flashing

So cute

And designed this treasured advent calendar

Each day has a wonderful scripture

Printed with sweet details 

The little bird hangs on ribbon

Love the hand crafted booklet

A very sweet and now treasured gift

I will always remember my first ornament exchange

Thank you Stephanie for Hosting

Thank you Anne Marie and Abby

For Participating and Being a Blessing

This Year of Letting Go

It was a purposeful choice to NOT

Pick a 2018 Word of The Year

I didn't want to focus on one area of growth

I just wanted God to lead my year

Looking back, I kind of wish I had chosen a word

It is possible my year would have unfolded differently

However, Because I know God

I believe it was HIS plan to have me 
Pass on a word for this year

Had I known how the year would unravel

I may have set aside HIS plan

And set out on an adventure of my own choosing

Yet, and still, HIS plan prevailed 

Today, I will share a timeline of what 

Would have possibly been my 2018 Word

Since Letting Go is not a single word

I'd have to go with:  RELEASE

The first inkling of change came on February 3rd

I packed up and moved my youngest son to a group home

At 32 it was time for him to experience life in a new way

It's been a challenge for both of us

However, we are 10 months in

I see him every weekend for dinner

And we are surviving

Change continued only 1 week later

When my oldest son moved to Texas

To start a new job

There goes another U-Haul
Sent away with HUGS

And tear~filled farewells

From mom, his wife and three daughters

March 31, 2018

The Shop "Tillie's Attic"

Where I enjoyed a fun business venture

And grew in my creative niche: Closed!!

It seemed, at the time, I was losing everything I loved

Until, of course, the next step of Letting Go 

Literally took me to my knees

My son came back for his little family
Texas or Bust her sign reads 
To Texas they went

Little did I know that I would follow
A day later to sign papers for the house I bought them
So happy I was able to see their new home
And give them all more great big {{{HUGS}}}

In August was my brothers family's turn to load a U-Haul
He had been working in Texas for nearly a year
Commuting every weekend
Although we hated to see them leave
His wife and kids were thrilled to finally 
Be together again

Then came the surprise of all surprises
In October mom went to Texas for a little visit
She wanted to see the RV Park my brother's family purchased
And get a feel for where so many of our family members
Had ventured off to

Well, a week into her 'visit' 
My sister and I received a call 
We were NOT waiting for
Mom decided to Move to Texas

My sister and I spent the next couple of weeks
Cleaning and packing moms home
Putting it up for sale 
And preparing her move

Her little place in now and the market

And on December 1st
Here belongings headed for Texas

I'm not over the leaving of my kids and grands
Now my brother, his family and my mom
Are all off on their own adventures

In the midst of all these transitions
We lost 2 wonderful family members
My mom's SIL - Aunt Loretta
My SIL's mom - Cora
We miss them terribly
And are sad to have lost them to eternity
Although, They are eternally Happy

This has been a year of letting go and sorrow
YET,
It is not over

What is, I believe and pray,
The final loss of 2018 is only weeks away
But already in progress

I've held this knowledge for nearly 2 years
I've been keeping a secret until the timing was right
Not my timing, of course
But the timing for the person whose 
Decision will change my life

My boss, of nearly 12 years
Has sold her Pediatric Practice
Although I have known every step of the process
She has finally told the staff and patients
She is phasing out and the new owners will 
Take over December 31, 2018

I will remain employed
My job will change
(honestly, I'm not positive what I will be doing)
My salary will decrease about 30%
My heart is breaking
I do have bouts of fear and depression
I'm 60 and don't quite know what to do

God is My Source
My Refuge
My Provision
My Peace

However, being a widow 
With such a year of great loss and change
I'm, quite frankly, feeling overwhelmed

Many days I get home from work
Head straight to bed
Struggling to sleep
Forcing myself to get up in the morning
Only to do it all again
All the while, just wanting
To sleep it all away

I haven't even put out a Christmas Tree
Or one single decoration 

Well, that's spill the beans
Those are just the major losses 
For 2018
Can't even talk about daily life ~~~

I think I may just choose a Word for 2019
Hmmm...
What shall it be?

This Eve

Tonight

As I write on the eve of what will be

The beginning of my 7th decade on this earth

I ponder 60 years of life

Grateful is a word that is 

Prevalent on my lips

So many wonderful memories tucked

Away in my heart

Treasured are 30 years of marriage

To a man who loved me well

Though he is missed daily

I treasure the gift of his presence

Adoption: another treasured word

Not only has God blessed my life

With two amazing sons through adoption

His love for us means we are 

Adopted into His forever family

How amazing is that

Family, more precious than jewels

So many that God has placed in my life

Grateful for each and every one

I wear their love around my neck with honor

Friendships, both far and near

Grateful cannot suffice in depth of those 

Whose love and faithful understanding

Have truly saved my life at times

Work/Jobs have afforded me opportunities

To live a life of comfort

But more importantly, they have blessed

My life with community and courage

The House of God

Feast or Famine, no matter the season

I believe that God's House is a Great and Mighty

Place of peace, rest and maturing

Seasons, dry, hard, dark at times

Joy-Filled as well

Yet, in all of them there are

Treasured moments of Increase and Change

Change

Oh change, always abundant in life

Never shall our lives remain in stale vapidity

Change is ever present

This year has been no different

More so than in previous years

Both children have moved away

As have my DIL and granddaughters

Leaving my home empty and devoid of warmth

A brother and his family 

A momma also following suit

Gone to new adventures

But not forgotten

A business lost to rising rents

Those friends dispersed into varied locations

Change, oh crazy change

 I have saved the next for tomorrow

Another change, another life decision

Ahead 

Adventure or Stagnation

Where will God lead?

Will my will bow to His 

Can I let go of comfort, of contentment

To allow HIS plan to unfold?

Change, oh crazy change

Where will this 7th decade take me?

No matter where it leads my prayer is that, YOU

My faithful friends

Will continue to watch God move 

And join me on my next adventure!!

Recreating ... Not the Answer

Hi Sweet Friends

2008

It seems like a lifetime ago

In the weeks leading up to my 50th Birthday

I challenged myself to try new things

Face some fears

And reach for far off dreams

I did Canon Balls in my pool

Played my piano daily

And vowed to stand on the edge

Of the Grand Canyon to see the sun rise

My fear of heights was No match

For my Dream to be their

I did … And so did my husband and sons

It was a time of strength, growing

And JOY

Nothing could stop me from

Embracing a new decade and enjoying life

2018

Life is so different

My husband has been with Jesus for nearly 8 years

My oldest son and his family live in Texas

My youngest son lives away in a group home

I am here … Alone … 

Trying to recreate my 50

It's Not The Answer

It's taken me 40 days to realize

That I was trying to recreate a time in my life

But it is Not were I am today

I cannot go back

I cannot recreate

I desperately want to embrace 60

In the same way I did 50

Yet, I am not the same

Nor is my Life

So

I'm done with 60 to 60

 

I bought myself some flowers

After work yesterday

Just Because

I treated myself to a pedicure today

Just Because

I don't know what the next 20 days hold

I just know, It will be different

It won't be a Joy-Filled journey 

To the next decade with my family

But, It Will Be...

Day {30} of 60 to 60

Hi Friends

Welcome to Day {30}

Of my 60 days to 60

Half way there and being honest

It's been a tough few days for me

I won't bore you with details

Here are a few photos from the past 5 days

I treated myself to a post rain storm walk

Although there were no rainbows

I found the gold for the day

ADOT

Sure can come up with some fun 

Highway signs

Caught the 'love' sign this week

Got my Flu Shot

Important when you work in a pediatric office

Received a new piece of AZ petrified wood

To go with the two I already had

Cleaned out my [2] sock drawers

Some sweet people received some brand new socks this week

And, I reduced my collection to only [1] drawer

However, a friend had challenged me to reduce this by 1/2

Not sure it will happen, but I'll try

Had my Sunday dinner with kiddo #2

Where did we eat this week?

Yep, Texas Roadhouse Again

He LOVES Steak

Little glimpse of the full moon

Need to learn more about my camera

Volunteer Night

Thanks for stopping by

IF you happen to think of me this week

I sure could use prayers

Blessings to YOU 

Day {26} of 60 to 60

An update of 3 JOYS

Today

It's only about the JOY

1.

An unexpected mid morning text from my oldest granddaughter

Just to say Hi and I Love You

Nothing could have made my day more Joy~Filled

This Girl

I love her so...

2.

After month's of tests and doctor appointments

Our family has confirmed that our mom is truly a CAT

She has survived a Whipple Surgery at age 70
(look it up - it's seldom survivable)

A broken hip at age 73

A stroke at age 77

A craniotomy at age 79

This summer she has been faced with the 

possibility of spleen cancer

NOPE - not her

And today was receiving the results of which we were prepared 

Would be early Alzheimer's or Dementia

NOPE - not her

She has evidence of 3 strokes 

But NO Alzheimer's, No Dementia

Just a bit of early cognitive memory loss

We think she has MORE than 9 lives

And may just outlive us all

Thank you Jesus for a woman who taught 

Her children to believe and trust in YOU

3.

A Lovely Post Rainstorm Walk

A perfect sunset to end a beautiful day

What could be more Joy~filled

Blessings To YOU!!